Does Kung Fu Training Encourage Relationships?

In my old website in one comment I was asked about the relationships between the students in such a tough environment like Kung Fu school. This is why in this chapter I would like to give my point of view on that topic.

When I came to the school for the first time I thought about my stay here as very challenging. Now, however, after seeing Shaolin Temple and meeting very skillful athletes, I know we have a very light training in comparison to theirs. So I wouldn’t call it now, SO TOUGH ENVIRONMENT.

Still, for people, who have never trained professionally, it is hard and probably that hardship, going through pain and tiredness, bounds students together. But, it doesn’t mean that everybody has the same experience. Some find friends for the rest of their life’s. Some even the love of their life. Some good friends and some just colleagues.

It’s true, we spend with each other a lot of time. We train together, we eat together and we rest/party together during the weekends. But not everybody with everybody (sometimes though that happens as well). It is like at school, like in family. Probably you hang out more with the people from your group. But it’s not a rule. As I said, it’s individual.

Relationships In The Kung Fu School From My Perspective

I will tell you how relationships at school look from my perspective. First of all I met Dani here and after few first weeks we started to be together. It’s been already more than 2 years. Having a boyfriend plus, especially in the second year, not participating in all the classes, training many times by myself or with Dani, hindered my contact with others. For me this place is more like home, where I am most of the time busy and from time to time I hang out with some friends or neighbors. It’s not a holiday or study time anymore.

When I first came to the school, I was trying to make friends and learn about everything. Now, I am more reserved or maybe the better word for that would be focused on other things. When a new student comes, I notice a pattern:

I have my first impression and I know – this impression will change sooner or later. It never lasts. After few days a new student starts to have friends around, starts to feel comfortable, does not seem stressed out anymore. He/she reveals his/her personality. The strengths and weaknesses of this person come out to the light. Some are very disciplined and train hard. Some are more lazy and they find many excuses to have rest or they go back home sooner than they planned. Some turns out to be a bit crazy and loud. Some brings troubles. Other deal with addictions. Some comes with great skills and fitness background. So this is the moment, when a person leaves its “footprint in my world”. This is how I will remember him or her.

No Need To Rush A Relationship

Sometimes, I don’t talk to new people at all at the beginning. I know the time will come spontaneously. I don’t need to rush the relationships here. They happen naturally. There are plenty of places, moments, when I and others can get to know each other. Maybe we start to talk on a way to town or a nearby shop. Maybe in the evening at the party. Maybe during the training we exchange the knowledge and skills or we decide to do a workout together. Sometimes, during the lunch or dinner there is a space for a conversation. It’s very interesting how the things flow here. There are also random situations, moments that make you very close to the one particular person. But that happens rarely.

Also it’s amazing how the atmosphere in the school changes depending on new students. There are some people, who bring light, laugh and energy into the school. Some brings troubles. Some parties every night. Some calmness and hard training etc. Every year it’s different and that’s what makes it interesting here.

Perfect Environment For A Relationship To Evolve

I think this school is a place were relationships with others have a chance to evolve. Over time we change, the others change and together with that the relationships develop. We cannot hide our weaknesses or weirdness. We get through some awkward, annoying, but also beautiful moments. We get over the difficulties and many times we grow from that and our relationship with other students tigthens. We learn how to help and understand each other’s behaviours. I think that’s what makes the relationships here so special.

I am glad that I met so many amazing and inspiring people here. It’s not only about having a good conversations, it’s about being around you guys, seeing your struggles and your path to improvement, to change and to a new life.

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